Articles by HighCrab

HighCrab has taken part in 6 posts for Canariesinthemine.com

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Dispatch from the Red Zone

by HighCrab January 20, 2007

As power has only now been restored to my part of the city I thought I should take the opportunity to update the outside world as to the conditions under which we have been suffering.  I can only ask for your consideration in advance if I trail off mid-sentence, as the Authorities have shut down [...]

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Dueling Conventions in The Shortest of Centuries

by HighCrab January 14, 2007

A couple people forwarded me the following simply HILARIOUS and AMAZINGLY IMAGINATIVE  mock agenda for a Democratic political convention.    I thought I’d add to it with an invented agenda for a GOP convention.   I know, I know, mine lacks in creativity, being based on real events.  Sucks to be part of what the Bush White House calls [...]

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Aphorizing

by HighCrab November 5, 2006

I think, therefore I don’t know. The fact of the matter is there are no facts and it doesn’t fucking matter. A bird in the hand is easilly crushed.  

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Satanic Verses

by HighCrab November 5, 2006

“It’s like I was telling you back in the thirties, Crab…..some girls just love a couple fingers up their ass when you fuck ‘em…and some find it so disgusting they won’t even consider licking your fingers clean afterward…you just got go soap it up yourself when you’re done with an ungrateful bitch like that, man.” [...]

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Spent the night in jail..

by HighCrab October 30, 2006

and they wouldn’t even take the normal tip.  I will kill any police officer who mouths up.  I will destroy mammals.  Eat milk.  Help me, vaughn mortimer, help me.

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Dawn’s regrettable fingers

by HighCrab October 29, 2006

I awoke this morning to a deafening roar. Having passed out on the couch I found myself on the floor, unable to make sense of the cacaphonous hell assaulting my ears, silence greeting my own screams of pain and horror. I must have been passed out from the shock and the pain for some time [...]

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